Expensive Shit™

Catalogue of expensive habits and cheap fetishism.
You’re that kind of person, always on top of things. You used to smell exclusively of orange flavoured Chupa-Chups, but ever since you switched to birthday cake perfume, your professional life has never been brighter. Smelling like a birthday cake subtly softens your after-gym sharpness, gives you a lasting impression at that informal but crucial meeting with the managing director of the company’s main competitor. Your best-kept secret is that you take frequent trips to the bathroom just to pull up your socks. Demeter Birthday Cake Fragrance, from US$ 6.-

You’re that kind of person, always on top of things. You used to smell exclusively of orange flavoured Chupa-Chups, but ever since you switched to birthday cake perfume, your professional life has never been brighter. Smelling like a birthday cake subtly softens your after-gym sharpness, gives you a lasting impression at that informal but crucial meeting with the managing director of the company’s main competitor. Your best-kept secret is that you take frequent trips to the bathroom just to pull up your socks. Demeter Birthday Cake Fragrance, from US$ 6.-

She sits in the back of the bus with her dad’s old blue shirt and cut-off white jeans, her grandfather’s flight bag, and her mother’s vintage Keds, that were slightly too big for her, fortunately, and stayed all these years in the attic virtually untouched. On its way to the coast, the bus goes past empty summerhouses and primary schools closed for the holidays. Lonely old men get on and off, not even noticing her. She stares at the scenery going past, and makes a mental list of things she wants: a Panasonic AM radio, the same Ray-Bans as Lou Reed in Gerard Malanga’s photos, a chilli-chocolate ice cream, a younger lover, a baby, a clove cigarette, an older lover, a cupcake with her name in powdered Helvetica, and an off-white Vespa with its matching helmet. Sighing in silence, she looks down at her Mill’s Canvas Flight Bag, available in 13 colours, US$ 89.-, via The Material Review.

She sits in the back of the bus with her dad’s old blue shirt and cut-off white jeans, her grandfather’s flight bag, and her mother’s vintage Keds, that were slightly too big for her, fortunately, and stayed all these years in the attic virtually untouched. On its way to the coast, the bus goes past empty summerhouses and primary schools closed for the holidays. Lonely old men get on and off, not even noticing her. She stares at the scenery going past, and makes a mental list of things she wants: a Panasonic AM radio, the same Ray-Bans as Lou Reed in Gerard Malanga’s photos, a chilli-chocolate ice cream, a younger lover, a baby, a clove cigarette, an older lover, a cupcake with her name in powdered Helvetica, and an off-white Vespa with its matching helmet. Sighing in silence, she looks down at her Mill’s Canvas Flight Bag, available in 13 colours, US$ 89.-, via The Material Review.

Dahling, remember the Brazilian barista who kept smiling at you? The one with curly blonde hair and vintage red dunks? Turns out he also DJs on Wednesday afternoons, I was just there! He played something like Bon Jovi or Queen only darker, sounded good but I couldn’t stay since I was walking the dog and was late for my fixie braking lesson. I had a quick Stella and Citror with him on the sidewalk and as we danced to an INXS × Dizzee Rascal mashup he asked me for your number; I gave him the agency number, hope that’s okay? Anyway he was wearing those blue 80s Adidas eBay shorts that were in the thrift store window all summer and these amazing glasses that change colour, I promise the first thing you’ll ask him is where can you get the same ones. Ellesse Blue Sport Frame, US$ 375.-

Dahling, remember the Brazilian barista who kept smiling at you? The one with curly blonde hair and vintage red dunks? Turns out he also DJs on Wednesday afternoons, I was just there! He played something like Bon Jovi or Queen only darker, sounded good but I couldn’t stay since I was walking the dog and was late for my fixie braking lesson. I had a quick Stella and Citror with him on the sidewalk and as we danced to an INXS × Dizzee Rascal mashup he asked me for your number; I gave him the agency number, hope that’s okay? Anyway he was wearing those blue 80s Adidas eBay shorts that were in the thrift store window all summer and these amazing glasses that change colour, I promise the first thing you’ll ask him is where can you get the same ones. Ellesse Blue Sport Frame, US$ 375.-